Wednesday, July 20, 2011
For the people that follow my blog and actually read my posts who happen to be part of the Edmonton crew that insists on spreading the garbage that dwells in their squalor living conditions and closets onto the internet and out of their mouths, I have an important announcement to make that majority of you have probably figured out already thanks to Mr. Jory of the West End. Andy and I are getting back together. He attempted to make his visit to Calgary on Sunday and his attendance to the Calgary Stampede with me plus the night at my house exist in secrecy from all of you. However that didn't work very well. And I would like to say one thing. The word getting out about this whole thing was not my doing. Unlike a lot of you think, I do respect Andy and didn't tell anybody, nor make the information available to the public other than to people in the city of Calgary. So if in time you decide to pin that on me, good luck next time because it won't work. The only people that knew were Andy's dad, and Kevin. Somehow word slips out to Jory (the leader of the entire pack, or so he would like to believe he is, anyways) and I know that the entire West End is going to start having their fits.
Take Eric here for example. Eric used to be a really cool guy. He never talked a lot at parties except when he was drunk, and when he would, it was always something mindlessly hilarious. I thought Eric was an all around generally nice guy. When Andy and I had broken up, he actually took my side and told me that even he thought the situation was out of control. A few weeks later he attempted to hit on me. And also asked Andy if we were still dating. Andy thought it was odd, but I simply brushed it off uninterested and didn't say anything. And when word got out I could possibly be making a return to Edmonton for a little while next month in August, he goes off onto this crazy spiel saying all the shit everybody else was saying. Apparently I have no life because I post statuses a lot on facebook. If you look at the screen cap, you will clearly see the hypocrisy in this. It should make you laugh. Sorry I didn't want to sleep with you, Eric. And sorry that my statuses piss you off. I don't think they ever actually did. I think you're just upset I'm with someone who clearly has a better personality, and better looks than yourself. Life's tough isn't it? When in doubt, follow suit with what Jory and the rest of the crew are doing to make yourself seem bigger - that's how to handle these things, isn't it?
The second picture in an inbox message from Cass. Jory's number one accomplice in every dirty-talk crime they commit. The pair are deserving of their own post on this blog and I will have that ready shortly.
So I guess Cass here was wondering why I hated him so much. So I told him the run-through of the night this all came about how he lead the entire thing along. Being the first one to pick up a phone and call me just to scream slurs like "slut" into the other end. And that was his response you see above.
I don't know what else I can do to make these people realize that no matter how much they attempt to engrain into my head that Andy doesn't love me or whatever the fuck they want to say, it won't work.
Second topic today. My friend Rae got posted on thedirty.com a few days ago. And just like me, she was expecting it considering all the shit that was being talked about her on Megan Mascara's post. If you read her article, the information is not only outdated but false. It says she does a bunch of chemicals but I think she's has a bit more sense in her than to sit around and pop drugs all day. The article also mentions she is still friends with Megan Mascara, but infact she hates her quite a bit. Rae even suggested I put her on this blog. Clearly the person who posted the article about Rae is holding onto the past since they are running around saying Rae is still friends with someone that she hasn't been friends with for almost a year. And that she's a whore even though she's had a boyfriend for six months. But much like myself, Rae is laughing her ass off at it.
As for myself Andy and I are getting back together. And I think it's funny how shit and drama starts to be purposely stirred up again by those who disapprove of this relationship. (Not that we should need your fucking approval to be together) The past few months the drama didn't disappear entirely but buzzed around, now it's about to sting again.
Apparently Cass says he'd take a bullet for Andy. How can that be so, Cass? If you care enough about Andy to actually take a bullet for him - why do you put such disregard onto his feelings and try to destroy what he has with the person he loves and makes him happy? Those lebanese people probably stun gunned you and Jory for a good reason. And you were whining about that. So I guess since Andy and I are back together you better be prepared to jump in front a bullet to prove you truly care about him.
I'll be in Edmonton next month. And I'm done with interwebs bullshit. If you have that much of a problem with me, come say it to my face when I'm up there. Peace.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Most of you are aware of my obsession with Blink-182.
Blink-182 is BACK. And this time, it's not a hoax, a leak, or a rickroll - For the first time in eight years, they have made music once again. The 2011 single "Up All Night" has premiered worldwide today. I will have a link at the bottom of this post. This has been anticipated since 2009! It's a short song, it only has two verses and two choruses. If you are familiar with Blink-182, Boxcar Racer and Angels & Airwaves, you will notice the new single incorporates sounds from all three bands. When the intro and outro kick in you notice the crunchy guitar riffs as Tom slides his fingers across the fretboard like in many Boxcar Racer songs and in the Angels & Airwaves song "Secret Crowds". But once the verse kicks in you'll find the familiar up-beat yet flowing vocal melodies of Blink-182 as Tom and Mark share each line. The chorus sounds much like an Angels & Airwaves song.
Blink-182 has been trending on twitter since the single released worldwide at 5pm Pacific Time on July 14th, 2011 and a lot of sites that contain Blink-182 as a component have had a huge influx of internet traffic.
If the single is this big, can you only imagine what the album's going to do in the world? I'm excited. Aren't you?
Listen to Blink-182's new single "Up All Night" here: http://kroq.radio.com/2011/07/14/blink-182-world-premiere-first-new-track-in-almost-a-decade-up-all-night/2/
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
"She cheated on her boyfriend", "ketamine head" "looks like a man", "has the appearance of a dog", "threatens people over facebook", "Obsessed with her ex" Blah Blah Blah... *yawn* - Heard it.
Where do I even start? I guess there are some people in the world that will burst into tears the minute a page like this shows about them - I did too....TEARS OF LAUGHTER!
The thought of posting me on thedirty.com has been in circulation for a couple months now since I started bashing Meaghan on her post. I was really close to saying fuck it and even posting myself and beat the rest of the world to it. But I figured I had really nothing to lose when it came to waiting for some random person (or maybe not so random) to do this for me, "It'll be a better laugh" I thought.
"But Jessica if you didn't care, you wouldn't be making a big deal about it" - WRONG! More wrong than Rebecca Black would be singing "Friday" backwards. (I made a Rebecca Black joke...clearly I am in a zero fucks are given mood) I am here to say HELLO INTERNET, HELLO HATERS, THIS DIDN'T MAKE ME CRY IT MADE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF! Now let me tell you why:
For starters, people have been talking about posting me on thedirty.com for months and nobody did until now - on the other hand it was eventually expected.
Secondly, no witty title, no original/unique/funny-yet-terrible insulting "names" were given to me other than "sloot", which is a generic word on this website
Third. Regular webcam picture + generic picture in generic clothing were the photos of choice of the poster - since I don't exactly dress myself in the attire of that of a prostitute like most of the girls featured in the articles. I even thought the girls who were obsessed with me in high school imitating the picture in the white tank top and glasses were a bit more hilarious than this person.
Four. Nik really let me off easy. He clearly didn't have much to say about my looks. Which is what he usually does, for instance on Meaghan's he had said "I didn't know they allowed barn animals to work at Hooters" But when it came to me, he just simply said "Why is somebody so insane allowed to be out in the general public?" I admire Nik and no matter what he says about anyone, he's obviously one of my role models. So. Not offended by Nik's comment AT ALL. Which is what a lot of people were excited about when the idea of posting me was buzzing around the net.
And finally, this, this is funny, okay. This person criticizes (Although I don't know if that's the most suitable word for it) me for "admitting to being self-centered and conceited" -- Good job, honey you just wasted typing a few empty words on your computer screen to use against me when I already have said that more about myself than you have about me.
All in all I was dissapointed with the content of this. Un-original. No humour what's so ever. Things I've heard/been accused of countless, countless, countless times in the past, especially online.
I have a huge advantage over a lot of people: I don't really get called a slut , or look like a slut in any way. And hey, atleast I'm on the internet. I'm famous. That's something whoever made this probably doesn't have.
I think the funniest thing about this, and a lot of things in general is that I own what I say. I say "HEY LOOK! My name is Jessica Antonucci and I have something bad to say about THIS person." Yet everybody else accuses me of hiding behind a computer screen when they do the same thing, (It says in this VERY article who is posted by someone "ANONYMOUS" that I hide behind a computer screen) - even worse, hide behind the lovely "anonymous" invention of the world wide web. Maybe these people are just jealous and wish they had a gut as big as mine.
As far as the content in this article goes, not even going to bother defending myself. I really don't give a shit what's in here, what's inaccurate, what's true, what's a lie, etc. That is a waste of my time. I have other sources to make myself look better than people like this any time of the day.
Also, might I add in the little bit of information that this is no shape, way, or form degrading to my self-confidence. In fact the result of this, is opposite the goal you are trying to reach - this boosted my ego for the day! So thank you!
I've run out of comebacks. Maybe I'll have some more when these deuces come up with some *yawns* new material.
Not gunna run and hide. For your own curiosity and entertainment, here it is:
If you're curious: (Left to Right) Wellbutrin (NDRI-Depression, Anxiety, ADHD), Paxil (SSRI-Depression, Anxiety disorder), Laxapro (Also 'Cipralex' SSRI - Depression, Anxiety), Effexor (SNRI-Anxiety, Panic disorder), Zoloft (SSRI- Depression, OCD, Anxiety), Pretty sure the one on the far right says "Fluoxetine" which is Prozac (SSRI-Depression, OCD, Panic disorder)
Anti-depressants within themselves are a controversial topic in pharmaceuticals, mental health and psychology. But as a more social matter, people who lie about being on anti-depressants can be a huge issue.
When I was diagnosed in April 2011 with severe depression (one step below clinical) by a registered psychologist using a BDI-ll (Beck Depression Inventory II, Beck Depression Inventory revision circa 1996) I was prescribed 25mg of Apo-Trazodone (an SARI anti-anxiety medication, treating sleeping disorders as an off-label use) and 5mg of Cipralex (Lexapro in the US, most modern SSRI on the market today) and after telling a few of my friends most of them spit out the statement "Anti-depressants don't work, I've been on them before and they didn't work."
This wasn't the first time I was told this. I used to hear this back when I was as young as 14, 15, and 16 years old.
Unless a friend can show you a physical copy of a diagnosis for a mental disorder such as clinical depression, bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder, etc and your friend is under the age of 18, and says they have been or are on anti-depressants they are lying.
In both my prescription pamphlets I received for Trazodone and Cipralex, and the same with any other anti-depressants out there, they will all tell you that "the use of this medication is discouraged and not recommended for people under the age of 18, may increase suicidal thoughts in those under the age of 25. If this medication was prescribed to someone under the age 18, health professionals are cautioned when prescribing this medication" Let's even back-track to the diagnosis stage (before a pill would even be prescribed) because the DSMV and DSMV-ll (the bibles of mental health) caution metal health professionals about, and even discourage diagnosis for any mental illness in people under 18.
Now, that is not to say that doesn't happen. My mother has been a teacher at an elementary school for children with special needs for nearly 30 years. And trust me, there are kids on Zoloft by the time they reach the 4th grade because of extreme anxiety disorders. (Which is unfortunate, because the earlier a medication is introduced the quicker and stronger a tolerance to the drug will build up because the body is still growing and so is the brain developing - and mental health professionals are aware of this, that's why that is only likely to happen in a severe enough case where it interferes with a child's ability to integrate into a regular social setting, it's a "quick fix" for the school day)
But there's a big fat line between severe and rare cases such as this, and all the 16 year old girls running around with their raging hormones saying that after they broke up with their high school boyfriend they dated for two weeks they miraculously developed bi-polar disorder and had to go on anti-depressants. People like that are attention seekers and are looking for a made up scheme to feel as if they have more knowledge of a subject people find fascinating than everyone else to fill the void of their confidence. "I am on anti-depressants, therefore I experience which you do not, therefore you do not understand" I could pull off a statement like that and have it be true, but everyone wants to be a rebel nowadays, right?
Honestly, going around telling people you have been/are on "anti-depressants" doesn't make you seem better than anybody. Especially the person who is actually suffering from clinical depression or bi-polar disorder. (Which is another thing people lie about a lot as well, I can go off into a whole spiel about what it truly means to have borderline personality disorder, living with it myself) Because the worst thing someone can do is ruin the excitement for somebody actually suffering that they are going to start (possibly) getting better. And also because medications react differently in every individual, giving false information (weather it actually applied to you or is made-up) before one starts taking an anti-depressant and is new to the whole experience might scare them and prevent them from treating themselves as needed. A friend is not supposed to make up lies about false life experiences to make themselves seem better than somebody else. If someone is going on medication to treat a mood disorder, that was prescribed by a mental health or health professional, that person obviously knows what they are doing.
I didn't have this problem so much with going on Trazodone because I was prescribed it by the off-label use for insomnia. But when I went on Cipralex, a lot of people made me feel as if it was something to be ashamed of. Especially after taking it for the first time, I had an overlap side effect with mixing it with my other pill and threw up and ended up going to an urgent care centre as a precaution I wasn't allergic to it. And after telling that to some people, they criticized me saying "Oh, you're on more medication? Can't you do something else?"
And there's something else to get into. When people say medication won't help, and to stop taking it suddenly, they need to take these things into consideration:
1) Correct yourself. Medication alone won't help but medication + talk therapy is proven very effective
2) You don't know why this person is suffering from depression. Depression can in fact be genetic and certain life events in early adulthood can trigger these genes to be active in the brain - which is part of my situation personally, my grandfather suffered deeply from depression before he passed away of cancer - so really, medication is a great route to go in a case of depression in genetics to balance the brain chemicals (which is what an anti-depressant is designed to do)
3) A medication cannot be stopped suddenly without the advisory of a doctor (unless in a case of allergic reaction to non-medicinal ingredients) These medications work with brain chemicals. The same way streets drugs and alcohol would, in fact, most times the same brain chemicals. Especially serotonin (the 'happy' chemical). When one is on the appropriate dosage of medication, serotonin balances itself out to be similar to someone who is not diagnosed with depression so they can go about their day without feeling super-blue or anxious (to the disorderly level of course) about certain situations and to bring down temper. Can you imagine what happens when this procedure is suddenly self-stopped without a doctor's instructions on slowly tapering off the medication? It's called SNRI/SARI/SSRI (depending which class the individuals medication belongs to) withdrawal syndrome. Everything will go opposite, as if the person was back to how they were before starting meds, or even worse. Or something deathly called serotonin syndrome. Anybody can get this from substance abuse (mixing your 'uppers' and your 'downers at the same time) where there is too much serotonin activity in the brain and the brain basically intoxicates itself with the chemicals. You can end up in the hospital or dead.
If you ever hear someone say they got addicted to anti-depressants they are lying. Anti-depressants do not have an addictive chemistry like narcotics such as oxycontin. Unless somebody was on one of the two only "take as needed" medications (as apposed to 'take daily' medications which is the criteria for most anti-depressants) - which would be benzodiazepine (anti-anxiety), or Xanax (panic disorder - these are addictive because they are quick-acting and can be taken any time of the day when the person feels they need it). But other than that, you can't really get addicted to anti-depressants.
I guess my final conclusion could be that unless you are educated on a subject such as this, then don't lie about it - especially to somebody who is actually living in the world of depression, and also before you jump on the bandwagon of assuming medication won't help an individual get better, then don't do either of these things. You make yourself look stupid and will ultimately lose a friend.
Educate yourself, first.
This is how I looked when I woke up. I did not wash my hair yet. I still have smudged make-up on. I am wearing a Hedley shirt. My ear plugs don't match because I could only get one into one ear.
Apparently, according to a lot of insignificant righteous pricks in the world I do what I do because I am insecure with myself. Look at this picture, for example. Absolutely no fucks are given.
I once said to someone, "If you are assuming I bash other people because I am insecure with myself, then you are essentially calling me ugly." He could have just said, "you're ugly". I guess that's not as easy for some people to say as it is for me...clearly.
You can go right ahead and say I look like a crackhead in this picture because you know what? I do! Go ahead call me an LG for wearing a Hedley shirt because you know what? I was an LG when I got it! Copy and paste this picture and send it to everyone you know and write a paragraph about how I'm ugly, unhygienic, a drug addict, and a terrible person, whatever you an conjure up in your head that you think would make a good story. I'll laugh. Criticizing another human being for "judging" people is like criticizing another human being for breathing. We all do it. So if somebody I don't know says something about me (which has already happened countless times of course) I laugh and simply brush it off and probably laugh again hysterically because most people I deal with aren't nearly as good at making insults as I am.
Just because somebody else insults someone's looks, or anything else about them, does not mean that person is insecure. It most likely means the person they are insulting is actually not that great looking, or actually does have something wrong with them. Or it is at least their opinion or judgement based on personal experience.
Anyway, anybody who thinks this is all out of "insecurity issues" on my part, I am telling you, suck a dick because I am the least insecure person I know because I tell everything like it is, no matter what I just spit it out and own what I say, like "Yes, I said that about this person. I think this way about this person. That was me." none of this cowering in a corner like most people did or trying to change their words around like "Oh, I meant to say that this person is just acting like a slut at the moment and isn't actually one." If I own what I say there is nothing wrong with me, there is something wrong with you because the person at their highest stage of confidence is exactly what everybody else hates to see. Wanna know why? Because I do it to. Don't talk down to me about something you think I don't understand when I do exactly the same thing on a daily basis. I do it just like you do except the only difference is I take to the next level. See, a perfect example of exactly what I'm talking about - owning what I say and owning what I do.
Insecurity issues my ass. Yeah, you wish you could look like this in front of the whole interwebz.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Just so you understand the joke of the title, this girl, while trying to insult me, said the stupidest thing. She said to me "Damn, that's where my friend got chlamydia from." I said I was sorry to hear that her friend had chlamydia (jokingly, obviously) and she then told me "I said you have it!". Well, technically if one were to say "you're the reason my friend has an STD" it would imply that both the person they are trying to insult as well as their 'friend' would carry this infection.
This stupid LG is named Shantel. She lives in between Calgary and Edmonton in Red Deer. I get more of a laugh out of my involvement with this bitch than any of the other ones because she's a stupid LG.
When I started dating Andy back in 2009 she sent him a message online (Yes, another LG who doesn't actually know Andy in person) telling him "Your girlfriend looks like a complete slut and is ugly what is wrong with her face, why are you dating her?" (The irony in the statement "What is wrong with her face" is of course, absolutely hilarious) Sorry, Shantel didn't know Andy was your property because you somehow found him on nexopia.com.
This chick is straight up screwed up. Her insults towards me are always very empty. She thinks she knows what's best for Andy, she actually told me that once. That she knows what's best for him. That's like a going up to a homeless person describing some type of complex medical symptom you're having and taking their advice when they say "Here. Smoke this rock of crack" when you actually need a heart surgeon. Maybe that's what Shantel did instead of going to STD clinic. It would explain so much.
Man, 12 year olds these days.
This post is mainly on here to give you a good idea of what most people in Edmonton consider being "rich", not so much about hate. Although their personalities from what I can gather seem slightly bothersome. I was a little bit skeptical of even putting these two up, but then I realized that they're pretty deserving of it. The two girls in the first picture (That is Andy in the middle) are Emily (far right) and Melissa (far left). This trio was not introduced to the "group" until I had moved back to Calgary in the spring. So I have never met any of them. However, I have (indirectly of course) briefly conversed with Emily.
I was laying in bed and get a phone call from some of the people in the Edmonton group. It started off with Andy's friend Cass calling me a slut for no reason and hanging up. About 2 minutes later, I recieve a call from my former friend, Beckah going off into a speil about how I'm some horrible person and a huge cunt and she told me that this girl named Emily said I was a cunt, even though she has never met me she thinks I am a huge cunt. The funniest part about all this was when I told Andy the name of the person who was talking shit he said that she was a friend of Meaghan's and he was at a party at the "Brodown" residence (Which I will get into in a minute) with her a few nights ago. I did my research on facebook and this sloot, Emily is also a Hooters girl. I think the scariest part about Emily from looking at her pictures is the fact that she has very similar facial features to Courtney (Andy's sister). With the way that she acts and how messed up both those families probably were at one point I wouldn't be surprised if news broke through that Courtney and Emily were distant sisters.
My conclusion to everything I've read, and seen and just sort of thought in the back my head the entire time is that Emily wants in Andy's pants. End of story. She is not very good at putting on the "sweetheart act" everybody has told me she possesses. Just like Meaghan, she works at Hooters. Give me a break.
Her "sister" Melissa I have briefly talked to as well. She has gone on about how she likes everything about Andy. As for both of these sloots they met him once and became obsessed with him. Although this one might be in the clear. Besides the fact I think she doesn't know how to dye her hair properly and wears the ugliest clothes like she cut off the curtains at her grandma's house and sewed them into a dress, I could care less about her because I heard she has a thing for Kevin. I am not surprised. That is the typical chick he tends to reel in.
Now. After looking at these people on facebook and judging their behavior (especially Emily's comment towards me) I went on to tell Andy they seem like absolute trash. He then proceeded to tell me that they live in a "really nice townhouse" and the brother owns a "Fifty thousand dollar car".
These people look absolutely nothing alike but at one time all shared the last name "Brodown" on facebook and now they each have different last names. Are they pretending to be related? Or is there a different baby daddy of each one of these things?
Remember, to people in Edmonton. Being the assistant manager of a mobile phone outlet or even just having one in the family while the rest of you sit on your ass and get hammered all the time, and living in a townhouse and having one family member blow all the applicable money in their bank account from their poor excuse of a "high position job" on a fifty thousand dollar car (which most people in Edmonton will never see in their lives) means that you're rich and should be treated with the upmost respect and that the entire west end must cater to your needs. Remember that. It doesn't take much to be considered rich in Deadmonton. I wonder if they own "$600 Coach bags" like Courtney does.
I did absolutely nothing to Emily yet she felt the need to be a huge bitch to me. Just returning the favor to you.